There are many bichos (pest) in the garden, ranging from the endless beggars an broughton street, the male hustlers thinly disguised as tour guides on Chippewa Square, the huge flying palmetto bugs (a prettier name for the common cockroach with wings no less!!!) that live in all the trees all over the beautiful squares, the elephant woman, the walking dead, that horrid stalker the magpie, the "Ersazt beings": those people who since having children all they can do is talk about the child no matter the topic of conversation, who are preoccupied only by the second chance to be all they were not through this new creation and worse when invited always inquire if they may bring the brilliant extension of themselves to a party!!!! (well, I neehhva!) or those boohring people: "The WHO'S", one meets at cocktail parties who can only talk about WHO they know, WHAT they own or HOW important they ought to be (remember dahhling real Power like true sophistication never needs to be explained, it just is!) however by far the worse of the worst of the bichos in the Garden are: The Moochers!
They all seem quiet inoffensive, at first. They are excellent at appearing to be interesting and ever so willing to please, but in truth underneath the veneer they are only interested in being invited to as many events as possible. They only concern in life is where will they come across their next meal & free cocktail. They are always of course, only too willing to accept as many invitations as you offer them, they always attend and arrive at the exact hour noted on the invitation (who does not know 15 minutes after is the acceptable time to arrive to any invitation?) they are the first to park themselves by the hors d’oeuvres and will eat and drink all night as much as possible. Their behavior can pass unnoticed for a few invitations since they develop enough social graces to make do. They are good at having a conversation with anyone (always measuring what/how you may be useful to them), can appear well versed in many a topic and are excellent at moving around a room to get to know everyone. On paper they sound ideal ¿no?
However the fact that they will never reciprocate or God forbid, ever host any type of event of their own is all too soon the reality. One such creature once had the audacity to invite me to a birthday party, via email no less (they would never waste money on an actual invitation that would require post after all!) the details of the invitation were to be expected of their kind: bring your own liquor and snacks to share!!! Could you just die? Essentially like all true moochers when not mooching off of you, they create the perception they are giving back by entertaining & having you bring the accoutrements for the event! Brilliant? Perhaps…most definitely the quickest way to get on The Royal Red List!
Dahhling, sadly our fair Garden is infested with these horrid creatures, the list is so very long. Certainly not as horrid but just as forgetful of their good manners and duties an Earl, a Baroness, a Viscount and many a Lord & Lady!
Having said this, you certainly know that it is after all, not hard to show sincere appreciation for the invitations received, even if your humble abode will not do. Invite the host(s) to a lunch or dinner at a restaurant of your choice (you can even create an invitation for the exact occasion), to an afternoon té, again at a commercial establishment or if a larger group needs to be thanked, organize yourself to pay for a round of (2) drinks for the party in question & several appetizers on your check by arriving early to the restaurant and organizing with the staff! How hard is that? Of course always send your thank you notes (timely, no more than 2 days after the event), but really, to show appreciation is the easiest thing to do dahhling, try entertaining at home once & you will see!
The Duchess of State